Let me start by saying a few things, since it’s been a hot minute since I checked in.

1. I haven’t been to the gym in about one month.

2. My eating plan has coincided with that lack of activity and I’ve not been giving it my all on making the best and healthiest choices for myself.

3. In the past week, I’ve had some stuff happen in my personal life that has me feeling simultaneously split wide open and closed up tight, like I’m deep inside a war tank.

So. With all that being said, I have not felt my best self. I was deeply moved and inspired by my time in Nashville at the WLSFA conference and even more so when I saw one of my best, dear friends  have an epically amazing recovery from some very intensive plastic surgery that will yield her the results she was looking for and lend her to feel more herself than ever. It reminded me of my end goal. And the things I need to do to get there. And then shit sort of hit the fan in my personal life and I’ve been gasping for air since.

What does that mean? It means I spent three days pretty much eating whatever I wanted and binge drinking. Think wine, donuts, macaroni and cheese, champagne and …more wine. And melted cheese tortillas. Lots of those.

So there you go… it’s all laid out for you…  I coped for three days in a way that left me bloated, numb, tired and four pounds heavier on the scale. But I had set my limit with it. I was going to give myself those three days and I needed that numbness for those days to just get through. It did it’s job, I suppose. It’s a short term solution and it did it’s job. But I’m not one to sit on the pity pot for too long because how annoying is that? I can’t really stand myself too long like that.

Today, I did what any self respecting, goal-oriented, self loving woman would do; I got my food more in line and I went to the gym. And I lifted. I went hard, I sweat hard, I pushed hard. And although I’m not numb… I am certainly feeling… I at least feel prepared to cope. And it’s amazing (side note) how a body can remember. I haven’t lifted in a month and yet my body was, albeit a little bit weaker, in great form. And ready for the burn. I’m proud I’m exercising my right to engage in my best and most favorite anti-depressant – endorphines. ACCOMPLISHMENT and fitness do so much for my self esteem and emotional well being.  If you  haven’t tried it yet, I recommend you do. 🙂

Until then, life goes on and I’m putting one foot in front of the other, I have the support of SO many amazing people who love me, and I’ll be back at the gym tomorrow to get another good sweat on before my trip to Boston tomorrow night.